


Perhaps

by asvlm



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8320993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asvlm/pseuds/asvlm
Summary: There is a suicide and major character deaths. Not for the faint.





	

**Author's Note:**

> There is a suicide and major character deaths. Not for the faint.

He could feel the pain, from losing everyone. Chris, Eden, Trisha... The pain was nearly too intense for him to find any form of love, of any semblance of normalcy, of peace. moving on was completely out of the question for Roy.

His eyes closed, as he felt the burning of the liquid, slipping down his throat, and he slowly breathed out. Breathe, that's all he could do. Perhaps if he'd lost just one of them, perhaps just Chris, he wouldn't be sitting in a mock of her bar, with beautiful women not yet knowledgeable in their sexuality and the power it could hold. Perhaps if it had just been Eden, he would have been able to take Trisha to the bar, to let her grow up with strong older sisters, and a grandma who cared. Perhaps, if it had just been Trisha, Eden and he could have mourned her, could have had more children, could have been happy, in a few years. Perhaps, perhaps perhaps. 

Yet, he felt the grease of the bartop, and he knew that he was far from having his wife, his mother, or his child back. No, they were all gone, and so, he tossed back another shot. He had lost count, hundreds ago, days, weeks, months ago. He was constantly swimming in a pool of liquor, enough to make himself hazy, to make shapes blur and double, enough to let him pass out before reaching for the watch his wife had carried for years, or for the gun that he had carried. 

Not even swimming would let him hover over the gun, or the watch. He could fly with the drugs he'd occasionally try, but he liked seeing so many more than he originally had. 

He still had his coat, from the military, and he grabbed it, and a shirt that she'd worn days before he lost her. The gun was put into a holster, under the coat, a book was grabbed, and he scribbled a small message. 

  
  
  


The walk wasn't that long. He'd chosen the graveyard for just that reason.  It was small, and yet, it fit them all. He moved to Trisha, first. 

“Hey, baby,” he said, his voice cracking. “Daddy is here.” He pulled out the book, and started the fairytail, her favourite. He set the book down, propped against the stone, when he moved to Chris's. “Aunt Chris,” he then said, and leant down, merely to kiss the top of the stone. Then, he went to the grave of his most beloved, the right of his daughter, and of her daughter. He turned so he was resting against the stone, and he pulled out the gun, bullets loaded, and he turned it around in his hand. 

“You're going to hate me, if there's an afterworld. But, I'm going to do this. I love you.” He took the gun, and kissed the tip, before pressing it into his mouth. Aimed just slightly up, so it faced with the most area to ruin as possible. He pulled the trigger, and everything exploded for a moment, before it all went dark, and his body went limp. 

  
  
  


When he woke, it wasn't in a cemetery. It was in a white, impossibly white, place, and he looked up, as he saw Eden, Chris, his daughter, and their two children, that had been unborn. When he looked at them, there was no sign of their violent deaths, and he felt his head was intact. So, he stood, and walked to the woman, tears freely falling. 

  
  
  


“I can't believe Roy did this,” Jean said, looking at the casket.

“Did you see the note?” Heymans asked, with his arm around Riza, curled up to his side, tears falling with passion. 

“He left a note?”

“Most do,” Riza said, the words thick. 

  
“ _ Though I walk without a care, though I drown my sorrows in drink and drug, I cannot live this life anymore. My passion has left, my love is gone, my mother murdered, my daughter brutalized. This is a world of pain and suffering, and my suffering is too great to continue.”  _ Vato felt his breath catch, at the next lines, softly as he spoke them. “ _ My men will continue. They will not miss me. And if you do, you are being an idiot. Move on with your own life. Life for my mom, my wife, my daughter. Don't forget their names. Chris, Eden, Trisha. Don't forget them. Roy Mustang.” _


End file.
